- Theodore Cleaver: Dad, you're a married man, aren't you?
- Ward Cleaver: Yeah, I think we're safe in assuming that.
- Theodore Cleaver: And Mom's a married woman, isn't she?
- Ward Cleaver: Oh, yes.
- Theodore Cleaver: Have you ever kissed any other married woman besides Mom?
- Ward Cleaver: Well... Now, Beaver, why would you ask a question like that?
- Theodore Cleaver: I'm just wondering.
- Ward Cleaver: Well, actually, son... no.
- Theodore Cleaver: I guess you were scared to, huh?
- Ward Cleaver: Yeah, that's as good a way as any to sum it up, I guess.
- Theodore Cleaver: I guess a guy could get in a lot of trouble doing that, huh?
- Ward Cleaver: [a wistful smile crosses Ward's face] He sure could!