ADA Ron Carver: I don't know whether to laugh or cry. You have an offended mobster and his son. A case of mistaken identity. An incompetent hitman. A hitman's widow. A hitman's missing sister. A corrupt cop. And now another dead killer. It's... it's operatic.
Detective Alexandra Eames: [watching Goren playing with the flesh on a corpse] Uck. You keep doing that, I'm gonna drop this kid right here.
Captain James Deakins: [referring to a cop being taken away] So much for passing out brains with those gold shields.
Captain James Deakins: [referring to a car-jacking/murder case in that happened on 9-11] I'd say they put about two hours work into this and called it quits.
Detective Alexandra Eames: Maybe because they had 2,000 other homicides to solve that day.
Detective Robert Goren: [opening up a container of very nasty smelling cheese] That's Rochette. Made from sheep's milk.
Detective Alexandra Eames: You can tell that just from the smell?
Detective Robert Goren: It's, uh... on the label.
Detective Robert Goren: [entering a warehouse with a strong coffee smell] Do you smell it?
Detective Alexandra Eames: I'm getting a caffeine buzz just breathing it in.
Detective Alexandra Eames: [sarcastically] Self-defense works for me.
Michael Carling: Your warrant says I have to let you search his office. It doesn't say I have to answer your questions.
Detective Alexandra Eames: [after reading an article by a lawyer killed by a hitman] Sounds like Old MacDonald rubbed some people the wrong way.