- Amy Babish: I'm having a good time, Uncle Frank.
- Frank DeFazio: I'm glad, I'm glad, you're a big girl, you should have a good time.
- [to Lenny]
- Frank DeFazio: You lay one finger on her and I'm gonna break you.
- Leonard 'Lenny' Kosnowski: It's a deal.
- Andrew 'Squiggy' Squiggman: She's a retard, a dummy!
- Leonard 'Lenny' Kosnowski: [Amy cries and runs out of the Pizza Bowl] Amy!
- [grabs Squiggy]
- Leonard 'Lenny' Kosnowski: You know who the dummy is? YOU ARE!
- [shoves Squiggy against a table and knocks it down]
- Andrew 'Squiggy' Squiggman: [enters dressed in a kilt, an elf's hat and green stockings] Hoy there! Hello lads and lasses and children in the sea, I have come to pick your baloney stones.
- Leonard 'Lenny' Kosnowski: [Amy gives him the letter her mother wrote her] 'Amy, lock yourself in the'... what's this word?
- Amy Babish: Bed-room.
- Leonard 'Lenny' Kosnowski: She makes funny B's. 'Tell Lenny he should go, don't let him touch you.' Your mother thinks I'm going to hurt you.
- Amy Babish: But I don't.
- Laverne DeFazio: Hey Squiggy, do you know the Purple Fiends?
- Andrew 'Squiggy' Squiggman: Know 'em? They beat me up three times.
- Shirley Feeney: [to Carmine] You do a pretty mean Irish jig for an Italian.
- Laverne DeFazio: Thank you.
- Leonard 'Lenny' Kosnowski: I think maybe I'll drift back up to my apartment then.
- Laverne DeFazio: Aren't you going to stick around for the shenannigans?
- Leonard 'Lenny' Kosnowski: No I think I had enough Irish food for one day.
- Leonard 'Lenny' Kosnowski: [looking at Squiggy's leprechaun costume with a kilt, a green elf's hat, green stockings and a green jacket with curled coat tails] Boy don't you look sensational?
- Andrew 'Squiggy' Squiggman: Yeah yeah, I would'a got you one but they didn't have a leprechaun costume in a 42 Husky.
- Leonard 'Lenny' Kosnowski: You're not still upset about what Squiggy said, are you? Because he doesn't know nothing, he doesn't mean nothing.
- Amy Babish: He's right, I am a dummy.
- Leonard 'Lenny' Kosnowski: Don't say that. Now me, I've been around dummies all my life.
- Laverne DeFazio: [about Miss Babish] I don't think we should give her a hard time right now. Her daughter Amy is visiting this weekend.
- Shirley Feeney: Oh Amy.
- Laverne DeFazio: Yeah the uh...
- Shirley Feeney: Retarded girl. Remember that time we met her on the stoop?
- Laverne DeFazio: Yeah, she doesn't get to leave that special school that much.
- Shirley Feeney: It's rough boy, 18 years old and she can only be in the 8th grade.