The Larry Sanders Show (TV Series)

Larry's on Vacation (1995)

Scott Thompson: Brian

Photos 

Quotes 

• Phil : All the theaters in Hollywood wanna do comedies and this is a serious piece.

  Brian : What's this serious piece is about, Phil?

  Phil : Well, it's about a writer who writes for a late night television.

  Paula : Ooh it's about you!

  Phil : No, no. I knew you would say that but it's loosely based on me. But it's very dark. This guy's addicted to crack and I have a scene where he can't decide to kill himself or, or to masturbate.

  Paula : How could you deny that's about you?

  Phil : Please come because if you don't come I might start doing crack again.

• Arthur : Now, one of tonight's guest will be Gloria Steinem. So, if Mrs. Steinem talks to one of you be helpful, be cooperative but above all say nothing. She's still a journalist.

  Hank Kingsley : She was a feminist.

  Paula : What if she asks us questions?

  Arthur : There are your answers: You love your job, you love the guests but most of all you love Larry. Let's hear it.

  Brian : We love our job.

  Paula : We love the guests.

  Hank Kingsley : I swear to God I forgot what the last thing was.

  Arthur : Just stay away from her, Hank.

  Hank Kingsley : Why? I am a big supporter of women's rights.

  Paula : [Phil spits his drink]  Oh give me a break!

  Phil : Yeah Hank, maybe you could show your video when you're supporting one woman's rights while the other woman is blowing you.

  Arthur : Let's go work!

  [leaves the room] 

  Brian : [to Phil]  You are such an asshole.

• Phil : Hey Brian!

  Brian : Hey Phil.

  Phil : Listen, I've got you and your friends to come to my play...

  Brian : Oh yeah?

  Phil : So you all got to do is pick up at the box office and please come because I have a review from the LA Weekly coming.

  Brian : Oh, you mean Fred Schenkel, I know that guy.

  Phil : You know him?

  Brian : Yeah.

  Phil : Oh if that guy gives me a good review I'll pay him a thousand bucks. Do you know if he's gay? Because I'd blow him.

  Brian : Phil, that's not funny.

  Phil : I'm not being funny. I mean, if he gives me a good review I will blow him.

  Brian : Oh you will? You will... get down on your knees and put his penis in your mouth?

  Phil : Well, since you put it that way it's not so appealing.

  Brian : Yeah. Exactly. Huh? Huh?