Devon Miles: Although it may seem unlikely to you, Michael, it is barely conceivable that you may find part of my speech... interesting
Michael Knight: Boy, I don't believe this place. It's like it's frozen out of the fifties. I keep expecting to see Wally and the Beaver.
K.I.T.T.: Wally and the Beaver? That doesn't compute Michael. Are they a part of the counterfeit operation?
Michael Knight: Writing is hell? I thought the expression was 'war is hell'.
Jobina: Obviously said by someone who never attempted to write.
Agent Larkin: There are two rules in this business, young lady, and rule number one is 'never become involved with a potential adversary'.
Jobina: What's rule number two?
Agent Larkin: 'Never become involved with a potential friend'.
Jobina: Tough rules.
Agent Larkin: Well, it's a tough business. That's what keeps America great.
Sheriff Moore: Knight, I don't know who or what you are, but you are not a cop. And in this town, the cops will pursue the suspects, ok?
Devon Miles: [on viewscreen] Kitt, what's happening? I've been trying to reach Michael for over an hour.
K.I.T.T.: Michael is... indisposed.
Devon Miles: Oh, that means he's either with a young lady or he's in jail.
K.I.T.T.: No comment.
Devon Miles: I admire your loyalty, Kitt. Frankly I'd just as soon not know, unless of course he's in real trouble.
K.I.T.T.: [Kitt has been hoisted up in a garage] My dear I'm a car, not a plane.
Jobina: Oh! Yes of course you are.
Jobina: Tell me, what were you doing up there in the first place?
K.I.T.T.: Spinning my wheels.
Jobina: [no reply]
K.I.T.T.: That was a joke.
Devon Miles: Well, now that Aunt Martha is back at the helm of the Halleluja press again, she wanted each of you to have a keepsake.
Bonnie Barstow: Ah, a bible.
Michael Knight: Hey, that's nice.
Bonnie Barstow: Beautiful, isn't it?
Devon Miles: Yes, quite. And informative.
K.I.T.T.: May I ask who programmed it?
Michael Knight: [Michael, Devon and Bonnie laugh awkwardly] Well, that's, eh, kind of a long story, Kitt.
K.I.T.T.: That's all right, Michael, I have plenty of time.