Bobby Hill: Why do you hate what you don't understand, Dad?
Hank: I don't hate you, Bobby.
Bobby Hill: I meant soccer.
Hank: [sighing] Bobby, I didn't think I'd ever need to tell you this but I would be a bad parent if I didn't. Soccer was invented by European ladies to keep them busy while their husbands did the cooking.
Dale Gribble: You're not being paid to screw up.
Coach: I'm not being paid at all. In fact I still haven't been reembursed for last week's pizzas. Oh, and
Coach: and if you guys aren't too busy, could you please just go to hell?
Bobby Hill: [to Hank, regarding the football coach] I think you hurt him... Hit him again to make sure.
Coach Sauers: [to Hank] Hill you finally got a haircut.
Hank: [laughs] You noticed.
Coach Sauers: [to Boomhauer] Boomhauer how are your folks?
Boomhauer: Man, they're doing fine man, they're down in dang ol' Florida man,dang ol' lottery winner man, no problems man.
Coach Sauers: Sorry to hear that.
Coach Sauers: [to Dale] Gribble no one's killed you yet
Coach Sauers: Dauterive my god man what happened?
Bill Dauterive: It's a long story, you remember...
Hank: [Interrupting him] Hey Coach we came by to see you because, well because you're the best coach Arlen has ever seen, how would you like to coach again for my son's football team?