- Hank: [praying to Wematanye] Though we walk through the valley of the shadow of Death, we know you're gonna recommend to the spirit in the sky with liberty and justice for all
- Joseph Gribble: Dad, can me and Bobby bring life preservers?
- Dale Gribble: If you wanna be sissies.
- Joseph Gribble: [to Bobby and the other boys] He said yes.
- Park Ranger: [to Boomhauer] Sir do you know anything about this?
- Boomhauer: Yeah man I tell ya what... Did one of them snipe hunts last night... man with them dang ol' sticks and bags and Whack! Whack! man, go Woooo-loo-loo-loo!... Talk about big mistake y'all... It's right there in that cooler.
- Park Ranger: [Not understanding him] Well if any of you see anything, stop by the ranger station.
- Cotton Hill: Now for the final test: The snipe hunt. Not gonna sugar coat it, some of you ain't comin' back. Those who survive will be honored members of the Order of the Straight Arrow. Those who don't will be dead.
- Hank: Now we will say the oath of the Order of the Straight Arrow.
- Hank, Bill Dauterive, Dale Gribble, Boomhauer, Bobby Hill, Joseph Gribble, Randy Miller: A Straight Arrow tells the truth. A Straight Arrow loves nature. A Straight Arrow is against bill HR 57 to allow the importation of South American propane.
- Hank: Oh my Lord! That's a whooping crane.
- Dale Gribble: Hmm, there's only 5 of those left in the world... well, 4 now.
- Hank: Okay, the 24-hour oath of silence starts now. Here are your silence sticks.
- Bobby Hill: These are Slim Jims.
- Hank: That's what the white man calls 'em. Wematanye calls them silence sticks to test your spirit of shutting up. Each time you talk, I take a bite. Talk 5 times and you're out.