Hank: Just in case I'm incapacitated for some reason, do you know how to start a man's heart with a downed power line?
Bobby Hill: No.
Hank: Well, there's really no wrong way to do it.
Dale Gribble: This tornado's already at level two on the Fujisaki scale. A storm that strong can send an egg through a barn door. Two if one door is open.
Bobby Hill: What does a level three do, Mr. Gribble?
Dale Gribble: A level three can send an egg through a brick wall. Tornado chasers call it Humpty's Revenge.
Bobby Hill: Ooh, laundry. Hot off the dryer.
[Bobby rubs a fresh pair of briefs on his face, pulls them on, takes off his nightshirt and runs out of the room]
Hank: 6 AM and already the boy ain't right.
Dale Gribble: You know how the Egyptians tipped over the pyramids? A rope, a cinderblock and 50,000 Hebrew slaves. Do you have a cinder block?
Bill Dauterive: I could get you a tank form the Army base. There's nothing better for pushing... except for a bulldozer, but they lock those up.
Luanne Platter: Do you think that Alex Trebek is sexy, Aunt Peggy?
Peggy Hill: Get out of my mind, Luanne.
Peggy Hill: Well, they asked me to substitute for a German class, and I said, 'nein', which I thought meant 'yes', but apparently 'nein' means 'no', so I blew a big opportunity.
Dale Gribble: This is no time for jokes, Boomhauer. This tornado's already classified level at 2 on the Fujisaki scale. Storm that strong'll send an egg through a barn door. Two barn doors if one of 'em's open.
Bobby Hill: What will a level three do, Mr. Gribble?
Dale Gribble: Level three will send an egg through a *brick wall*. Tornado chasers call it "Humpty's Revenge".