Hank: [Peggy was humiliated at the Boggle Tournament] Say, coach used to say something to fire us up when we were behind.
Peggy Hill: What's that?
Hank: [shouting] Loser! You're a loser! Are you feeling sorry for yourself? Well, you should be, cause you're dirt! You make me sick! You big baby! Baby want a bottle? A big dirt bottle?
Hank: You're not dumb. You're smarter than I am.
Peggy Hill: [crying] Big deal.
Hank: Well, you're smarter than anyone at Arlen.
Peggy Hill: Well, whoop-dee-doo! I am the smartest hillbilly in Hillbilly Town!
Hank: Dallas? I don't want you goin' to Dallas at all. That place is crawlin' with crack-heads and debutantes, and half of 'em play for the Cowboys.
[Hank has a name tag that reads "Mr. Peggy Hill"]
Brent Cobb: Hello there, Peggy Hill. My name's Brent. Cissy Cobb's husband/coach. Nice to meet you, Peggy.
Hank: Well, actually...
Brent Cobb: You don't have to explain. I have an uncle named Leslie, and John Wayne, the Duke himself, was really named Marion.
Hank: You take that back.