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(TV Series)

(2004)

Quotes

Carrie Heffernan: Emily and Peter blew us off again tonight.

Doug Heffernan: Really? That's weird.

Carrie Heffernan: They said they had to go bird shopping. Who goes bird shopping on a Saturday night? Who goes bird shopping?

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[Doug, Deacon, and Danny are sitting on the couch in the living room, eating nachos and cheese]

Doug Heffernan: What are you doing?

Danny Heffernan: What?

Deacon Palmer: You're taking all the cheese.

Danny Heffernan: It came up with the chip.

Doug Heffernan: Yeah, 'cause you grabbed the nucleus.

Danny Heffernan: What?

Doug Heffernan: Every pile of nachos has one main chip that holds the whole thing together... the nucleus. You don't take the nucleus, you work around it. You honor it.

Deacon Palmer: That's Nachos 101, man.

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Carrie Heffernan: Did you make them touch your belly hair?

Doug Heffernan: What?

Carrie Heffernan: DID you?

Doug Heffernan: I have no idea what you're sayin'!

Carrie Heffernan: Did you lift up your shirt and make Peter and Ellen touch your belly hair?

Doug Heffernan: Yeah, and then I threw on a G-string and gave them a little lap dance, yeah!

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Doug Heffernan: [lifting up his shirt and rubbing his stomach] Is this a lot of hair right here, seriously? I mean, a lot of people say I'm hairy, but I don't think I'm hairy enough...

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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