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Hyacinth: Don't grunt when you polish, Richard. I can hear you breathing, dear. I don't think it's quite nice to hear people breathing. You'd think by now evolution would have replaced our unfortunate bodily functions with something a little more tasteful. I suppose it was perfectly adequate for primitive peoples, but really.

Richard: Well, we are merely mammals, after all.

Hyacinth: Richard! What a thing to say to somebody with a solid silver self-cleaning sauce separator.

[first lines]

Hyacinth: [answering the telephone] The Bouquet residence, the lady of the house speaking.

Hyacinth: You are whom? Actually, I think that should be 'who'. You are who?

Hyacinth: The Department of Refuse Service Offices? Oh, you mean the rubbish people.

Hyacinth: Yes, I am the lady who's been ringing all week with a complaint. Yes, thank you for finally retuning my call.

Hyacinth: My complaint is about your dustbin lorries.

Hyacinth: All right, your collection vehicles. They will keep passing down my avenue. Now I don't mind them coming on Tuesday because that's when I put my dustbin out. But I wish you would forbid them to pass down my avenue on other days. It gives the impression that I specialize in superfluous amounts of garbage.

Hyacinth: Oh, I know what they're doing; they're taking the short cut, and I'd like you to do something about it.

Hyacinth: Well, if that's your excuse I wouldn't even put it in a black plastic bag and stuff it in a dustbin. Hello. Hello.

[clicks the hook several times]

Hyacinth: Hello.

[hangs up]

Hyacinth: Bolshie binman.

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Daisy: You never noticed when I got that new nightie.

Onslow: Let me give you a tiny word of advice, Daise. Now, you'll not find this in your romantic novels, but if you're going to wear a see-through nightie, don't wear a vest!

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Elizabeth: There comes to us all in this area, not only the certainty of death & taxes, but periodically one of Hyacinth's candlelight suppers!

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Hyacinth: [the doorbell rings] Richard, our guests have arrived!

Rose: You expecting company?

Hyacinth: Oh, it's just Elizabeth from next door and her brother Emmet.

Rose: Oh, I didn't know she had a brother.

Hyacinth: Yes, he's recovering from rather a bad divorce.

Rose: Oh, divorced, is he?

[Elizabeth enters with Emmet]

Elizabeth: How are you, Hyacinth?

Hyacinth: Oh, I, em. Ah...

Rose: Oh, I can see he's suffered.

[cuddles up to Emmet]

Rose: Some women can be *bitches*.

[Hyacinth bristles]

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