Despite the staff's efforts to celebrate, Finch has no intention of being recognized on Secretary's Day. And while Jack insists on a gift to mark the occasion, Finch does his best to make it clear that he doesn't consider himself a secretary. Meanwhile, Nina considers having plastic surgery to increase her breast size. As Jack is working on an important speech, Finch approaches him with some questions about his job. After Jack does little to ease his fears, Maya accuses her father of being insensitive as she tries to get him to understand Finch's concerns. Then, after an accidental fall lands him in the zoo's gorilla pit, Finch is suddenly a celebrity. Although Jack warns that it won't last, Finch tries to capitalize on his fame with an appearance on Jay Leno's television show. Written by
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I know what you're trying to do, but you wouldn't understand. In this town, you are your job, and I'm about one inch away from wearing a hair net.