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"Just Shoot Me!" Puppetmaster (TV Episode 1998) Poster

(TV Series)

(1998)

Quotes

Maya Gallo: Quick, quick! Channel six, fast.

Jack Gallo: Why?

Maya Gallo: My blind date is on. I want to see what he looks like.

Charlton Heston: Hello, I'm Charlton Heston. Ted Kennedy's car has killed more people than my gun.

Jack Gallo: Maya, no!

Maya Gallo: No, no! Channel six.

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Jack Gallo: You're reading too much into this, Maya. They're just puppets. Except the one with the monocle. He really burns my ass.

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Nina Van Horn: You know how everyone says that to plan for the future you should make a sound financial investment? Well, I've taken the plunge.

Elliot DiMauro: Great. Is it that mutual fund I told you about?

Nina Van Horn: Better. A trendy new nightclub.

Dennis Finch: Shrewd plan. But for safety's sake, you should take some of that money and throw it off a plane.

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[Jack and Elliot are watching Brian's Song]

Jack Gallo: This is without question the greatest guy movie ever made.

Dennis Finch: Ooh, Footloose.

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Steven: By the way, I like your outfit.

Nina Van Horn: Oh, it's real giraffe. My friend Binnie accidentally ran it over at a party in Michael Jackson's ranch.

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Jack Gallo: The wolf should get more camera time. He's like a young Pacino.

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Dennis Finch: You couldn't pay me enough to do that job. Here, Jack. I finished shaving the lint off your floor mats.

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Nina Van Horn: I have good news.

Dennis Finch: They delivered the bleachers for your bedroom?

Nina Van Horn: At least in my bedroom it's not a one-man show.

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Jack Gallo: When you meet this guy, ask him why Mr. Mayor wears glasses and a monocle. It really bothers Hannah.

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Steven: How did you wind up at Blush?

Maya Gallo: It's a really inspiring story. Studied hard, went to college, paid my dues... got job from daddy.

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Maya Gallo: Why puppets?

Steven: I was obsessed with Sesame Street... in college.

Maya Gallo: Yeah?

Steven: Don't laugh. You'd be surprised how much sense Cookie Monster makes when you're stoned.

Maya Gallo: While Oscar the Grouch just makes you paranoid.

Steven: Yeah. And Big Bird, he looks delicious.

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Elliot DiMauro: Hi. I'm Elliot DiMauro.

Steven: Nice to meet you. I've heard a lot about you.

Elliot DiMauro: All good, I hope.

Steven: Yes, except about the part about you wishing you were a woman.

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Dennis Finch: [after a veiled reference to Maya on Steven's show] I can't wait to see the show after you two have sex.

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Dennis Finch: Told you that club was a bad investment.

Nina Van Horn: You know what's a bad investment? Letting your money sit in a bank while your dreams go unfulfilled. Well, maybe it didn't turn out like I planned, but I got on that merry-go-round and reached for that brass ring, and for one brief, shining, fiery moment, I was dazzling!

Dennis Finch: No insurance?

Nina Van Horn: [crying] Not a dime!

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Maya Gallo: Is he saying what I think he's saying?

Dennis Finch: Don't worry. He just wants to nail Nina.

Nina Van Horn: Oh, that is so sweet! I really needed that today.

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Elliot DiMauro: So, does this obnoxious place have a name?

Nina Van Horn: No. No name, no sign, no one will be able to find it. So, intrigued?

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Steven: [as Ms. Panda] I'm sorry I was late.

Steven: [as Mr. Mayor] That's okay, Ms. Panda. I bought a present for you anyway.

Steven: [as Ms. Panda] Ooh, a shiny gold watch!

Steven: [as Mr. Mayor] Yes, now you won't be late again. Because when you're late, you make people wait, and that is no way to start a date. There is nothing more than I hate, hate, hate!

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Steven: [as Maya beats him up] You can't hurt me! The Mayor likes it rough!

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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