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(TV Series)

(2002)

Quotes

Jack Gallo: Nina, can I help you?

Dennis Finch: No one can help her until she helps herself.

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Nina Van Horn: If you're suggesting that there's a similarity between my search for my parents and her search for me, I fail to see it.

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Nina Van Horn: All right, I'll see her. But she is getting Nina Van Horn, nothing more, nothing less. I can't just snap my fingers and become a mother.

Chloe: Hi. I'm Chloe.

Nina Van Horn: [tearfully] Baby girl!

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Chloe: Where is my father now?

Nina Van Horn: No idea. Next.

Chloe: What's his name?

Nina Van Horn: Bob. No, Bill. No, Bruce. No, Ben. Pass. Next.

Chloe: I guess that answers if you loved him.

Nina Van Horn: Is there anything in that pad of yours about my favorite colors or plants I have smoked?

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Nina Van Horn: I'm ready to be in your life, whatever that may mean. I can be a confidant, a friend, even a mother. I'm ready for anything.

Tess: What's going on?

Chloe: Tess, I want you to meet Nina.

Tess: Oh, hi, grandma.

[Nina faints]

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Nina Van Horn: Chloe. They told me her name is Chloe.

Maya Gallo: That's a beautiful name.

Nina Van Horn: I wanted to name her Fluffy. Until the last minute, I was hoping it would be a kitten.

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Nina Van Horn: Do I look like I've been drinking?

Maya Gallo: No.

Nina Van Horn: Well, I will in five minutes.

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Nina Van Horn: I slept with Mick Jagger.

Chloe: Are you saying Mick Jagger is my father?

Nina Van Horn: No, I was just bragging.

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Nina Van Horn: I couldn't take care of her. I was just a girl. I had no prospects, no education, no skills. Well, I could milk a cow with both feet, but that's nothing to build a future on.

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Dennis Finch: That thing about milking with your feet.

Nina Van Horn: Yes?

Dennis Finch: I know this is probably inappropriate and not the right time, but did you ever...

Nina Van Horn: Yes.

Dennis Finch: Awesome!

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Jack Gallo: Must you always hug after everything? Meeting's over - hug. Lunch is done - hug. We just finished hugging - let's hug.

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Maya Gallo: We're going to try something different, a little bit dangerous... involving you, me and Finch.

Dennis Finch: I think I like where this is going.

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Maya Gallo: You be yourself, Finch will be Chloe.

Dennis Finch: I don't like this.

Maya Gallo: And I will be the spiritual guide.

Dennis Finch: Like Yoda?

Maya Gallo: If it helps you, yes.

Dennis Finch: [imitates Yoda] Mmm, yes, help me it does.

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Maya Gallo: You don't want to meet her, not like this.

Jack Gallo: Meet who?

Maya Gallo: No one.

Dennis Finch: Who, your bastard daughter?

[Nina gasps and drops the bottle she's holding]

Dennis Finch: Oh, my God! Did I guess it? I didn't know! I just guessed it, I got it!

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Nina Van Horn: Maya, I want you to go to my desk and bring me my biggest, pinkest pill.

Maya Gallo: Got it.

Nina Van Horn: It may look like a paperweight, but it's not.

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[after Maya says something poetic to Nina]

Dennis Finch: I know this moment is not supposed to be boring, but somehow she pulls it off.

Elliot DiMauro: It's a gift. A gift that no one wants.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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