- Dennis Finch: You know what this is?
- Jack Gallo: The outside of the office you're supposed to be in?
- Dennis Finch: No, they're filming The Nomad.
- Jack Gallo: Who?
- Dennis Finch: The Nomad. It's a TV show. He travels from town to town solving crimes, armed only with his wits and the occasional help of a superintelligent raven.
- Jack Gallo: That sounds stupid.
- Dennis Finch: You sound stupid! I'm sorry. He's been through so much.
- Jack Gallo: I don't get that show. If he's a nomad, how does he get his mail?
- Dennis Finch: You know what? We don't need viewers like you.
- Maya Gallo: [About Elliot not voting] I used to have a boyfriend who felt that way. No, wait. That was Stalin.
- Maya Gallo: You know, nothing about that show makes sense. How do you lose an eye in a fire?
- Jack Gallo: Thank you!
- Elliot DiMauro: I'm serious. I can't vote because I've been to prison.
- Maya Gallo: Seriously? What happened? What did you do?
- Elliot DiMauro: I stole a car, took it for a joy ride.
- Maya Gallo: A car?
- Elliot DiMauro: I was nineteen. Oh, and it was a mail truck. I wanted to see how fast it would go. Not that fast.
- Dennis Finch: Elliot, I have a message for you. Oh, no. This is not for you, it's for a Mr. J.L Bird. Mr. Jai-L Bird.
- Elliot DiMauro: Who's he?
- Dennis Finch: A new guy. Oh, here it is. No, this isn't for you either. This is for a Grant F. Auto. Grand Theft-Auto.
- Elliot DiMauro: Maya!
- Dennis Finch: Prisoner on the rampage! Lockdown! Lockdown!
- Nina Van Horn: You're gonna love hotel living. If they decline your credit cards, just say you're with the band.