Dennis Finch: You know George Lucas is my idol. Just this year I've written fourteen Star Wars, eight Indiana Joneses, and a sequel to Willow. You have a dwarf and a sword, the thing writes itself.
Jack Gallo: I don't care is he is the president of Iraq. Only Selleck can pull off that moustache.
Jack Gallo: Vicki has been asking for more work to do.
Nina Van Horn: Well, maybe I want a higher position.
Jack Gallo: You could actually do the work I assign you.
Nina Van Horn: And what perks would this new position entail?
Elliot DiMauro: Sorry if I'm late. Everyone just wants to thank me. Does anyone thank the sun for shining everyday?
Jack Gallo: Did you just compare yourself to the source of all life on this planet?
Elliot DiMauro: It's a heck of a picture.
Maya Gallo: I'm so proud of you, dad. Here Elliot is being completely arrogant, and you rise above it. You are a great man.
Jack Gallo: I'm gonna crush him like a bug.
Maya Gallo: Wait, what?
Maya Gallo: You can't manipulate people like that. What are you, a puppet master?
Jack Gallo: I was going to say savvy manager, but puppet master is cute.
Maya Gallo: We're not puppets, we're independent people.
Jack Gallo: No, you're not.
Dennis Finch: What's the worst thing I can do to a woman?
Maya Gallo: Go out with her, and after taking her virginity, dump her and then go to the prom with Susan Wilson.
Dennis Finch: I like that, but it might take too long.
Dennis Finch: I have a good idea for a Star Wars movie, where Chewwie and Boba Fett put together a softball team of misfit Jedis.
George Lucas: [as elevator closes] That's good.
Dennis Finch: It is? Oh, my God! He likes it!
Jack Gallo: I can't have someone in here acting like he's better than anyone else. That's my job.
Dennis Finch: You don't know her like I do. Underneath that hard exterior is a fragile, insecure woman with a liver held together with tape and glue.
Nina Van Horn: Oh, please. A woman is not gay just because she stares at another woman, brushes against her and French kisses k.d. lang at a children's literacy benefit.
Jack Gallo: George, there's something I've been meaning to ask you. That Indiana Jones, he's based on me, right?
George Lucas: What?
Jack Gallo: The rugged good looks, the world traveler, the hat. I have a hat just like that.
George Lucas: You got me.
Jack Gallo: I knew it!