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"Just Shoot Me!" Funny Girl (TV Episode 1998) Poster

(TV Series)

(1998)

Quotes

Maya Gallo: No hard feelings. Peanut brittle?

Dennis Finch: Oh, I wonder what will happen when I open it?

[opens can]

Dennis Finch: It's peanut brittle.

Elliot DiMauro: I don't get it.

Maya Gallo: [laughing] Check the expiration date.

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Maya Gallo: A landscape. It has a nice Ansel Adams quality to it.

Elliot DiMauro: That's because it's a picture of an Ansel Adams picture. That's what he does, he takes pictures of pictures.

Maya Gallo: Well, maybe he's making a statement.

Elliot DiMauro: Yeah, "I'm out of medication."

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Jack Gallo: I just had lunch with Ally and guess what? The waiter thought I was his father.

Nina Van Horn: That a compliment. Aren't you older than her father?

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Maya Gallo: So what do you think of me now?

Dennis Finch: Same as before. Body, ten. Personality, four.

Maya Gallo: Four?

Dennis Finch: Now you're a three.

[Maya pinches Dennis on the nipple]

Dennis Finch: Ooh, eight!

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Mr. Weiland: Look, missy, a promise might hold water in Bogota, but last time I checked this is America, where football means football.

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Maya Gallo: Elliot, your turtle bites.

Elliot DiMauro: Oh, yeah? Well, you bite!

Maya Gallo: No, I mean your turtle bit me.

Elliot DiMauro: Oh, he does that.

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Nina Van Horn: Sorry I'm late. I was visiting my friend Binnie at the hospital. She got vertigo at the Guggenheim, fell off a railing and landed on a capucchino cart. Everyone thought it was performance art and applauded. She walked off with a broken rib and a grant from the NEA.

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Dr. Hendrie: Let me outline for you how plastic surgery can make your life better. How would you like to be surrounded by young, beautiful women?

Jack Gallo: I am, every day. Supermodels.

Dr. Hendrie: Ah. How would you like for your boss to stop treating you like an old fuddy-duddy?

Jack Gallo: I am the boss. I own the whole damn company.

Dr. Hendrie: But... Do you have a boat?

Jack Gallo: I don't know what I'm doing here. I don't need you.

Dr. Hendrie: I really think you should reconsider.

Jack Gallo: Why? My life is perfect. I just hope that when you're my age...

Dr. Hendrie: I'm seventy-two.

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Mr. Weiland: Sir, we don't play favorites here at Immigration. Because those "damned Canadians", as you call them, don't blow stuff up.

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Maya Gallo: There must be something you can do.

Mr. Weiland: Of course, I have that kind of power. That's why I'm in this office. No air, no view, but I control the borders!

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Elliot DiMauro: No offense, Maya, but women are nurturers, not jokers.

Dennis Finch: Yeah. Helen Reddy's famous song wasn't "I Am Funny."

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Mr. Weiland: I think that with an eye lift we can make you look sixty-five again.

Jack Gallo: I'm sixty-one.

Mr. Weiland: I cannot apologize enough.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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