Maya Gallo: No hard feelings. Peanut brittle?
Dennis Finch: Oh, I wonder what will happen when I open it?
Dennis Finch: It's peanut brittle.
Elliot DiMauro: I don't get it.
Maya Gallo: [laughing] Check the expiration date.
Maya Gallo: A landscape. It has a nice Ansel Adams quality to it.
Elliot DiMauro: That's because it's a picture of an Ansel Adams picture. That's what he does, he takes pictures of pictures.
Maya Gallo: Well, maybe he's making a statement.
Elliot DiMauro: Yeah, "I'm out of medication."
Jack Gallo: I just had lunch with Ally and guess what? The waiter thought I was his father.
Nina Van Horn: That a compliment. Aren't you older than her father?
Maya Gallo: So what do you think of me now?
Dennis Finch: Same as before. Body, ten. Personality, four.
Maya Gallo: Four?
Dennis Finch: Now you're a three.
[Maya pinches Dennis on the nipple]
Dennis Finch: Ooh, eight!
Mr. Weiland: Look, missy, a promise might hold water in Bogota, but last time I checked this is America, where football means football.
Maya Gallo: Elliot, your turtle bites.
Elliot DiMauro: Oh, yeah? Well, you bite!
Maya Gallo: No, I mean your turtle bit me.
Elliot DiMauro: Oh, he does that.
Nina Van Horn: Sorry I'm late. I was visiting my friend Binnie at the hospital. She got vertigo at the Guggenheim, fell off a railing and landed on a capucchino cart. Everyone thought it was performance art and applauded. She walked off with a broken rib and a grant from the NEA.
Dr. Hendrie: Let me outline for you how plastic surgery can make your life better. How would you like to be surrounded by young, beautiful women?
Jack Gallo: I am, every day. Supermodels.
Dr. Hendrie: Ah. How would you like for your boss to stop treating you like an old fuddy-duddy?
Jack Gallo: I am the boss. I own the whole damn company.
Dr. Hendrie: But... Do you have a boat?
Jack Gallo: I don't know what I'm doing here. I don't need you.
Dr. Hendrie: I really think you should reconsider.
Jack Gallo: Why? My life is perfect. I just hope that when you're my age...
Dr. Hendrie: I'm seventy-two.
Mr. Weiland: Sir, we don't play favorites here at Immigration. Because those "damned Canadians", as you call them, don't blow stuff up.
Maya Gallo: There must be something you can do.
Mr. Weiland: Of course, I have that kind of power. That's why I'm in this office. No air, no view, but I control the borders!
Elliot DiMauro: No offense, Maya, but women are nurturers, not jokers.
Dennis Finch: Yeah. Helen Reddy's famous song wasn't "I Am Funny."