- Ingrid Strange: [to Jonathon as she gives him a proctology exam] Onto the bed now... underpants down... lie back... think of England.
- Maddy Magellan: [as she is in bed with Jonathon and speculating on Dr. Strange's murder] Or what about this? One of the animals did it... one of the little ones. Could've been hidden in a cupboard that was too small for a person and stabbed him in the back.
- Jonathan Creek: [Unenthusiastically] Right... I see your reasoning.
- Maddy Magellan: But you think it sucks? Why?
- Jonathan Creek: It's just that image of the organ grinder's monkey coming at you with a sword... Would you really scream for mercy?
- Maddy Magellan: ...or put some money in its tin cup?
- Ingrid Strange: [to D.C. Spelling sitting on the couch who seems to be agitating the gorilla] Can I ask you not to sit like that. He's reading it as a sign of sexual dominance.
- Ingrid Strange: [Reprovingly] Cathy, you have the body of a woman and the brain of a sexually stunted newt.
- Jonathan Creek: [after trying out Jorman's mechanically-powered chair] Reminds me of the gynecology ride at Disneyland.
- Maddy Magellan: [Seeing Jonathon who has falled down the stairs and the gorilla, who was attacking him, lying dead after jumping off the balcony] What happened?
- Jonathan Creek: He just went... I don't know.
- Maddy Magellan: What?
- Jonathan Creek: Apeshit!
- Jonathan Creek: [Amazed after seeing a silverback gorilla use the toilet bowl] Almost human!
- Jordan Strange: [Waspishly] He's not so clever.
- Jonathan Creek: I thought for a gorilla that is quite impressive.