"Joan of Arcadia" Trial and Error (TV Episode 2005) - Joe Mantegna as Will Girardi

Will Girardi : Pop Tarts? Not exactly brain food. Let me make you some eggs.

Joan : Oh, uh, no time. I have to be in court this afternoon. That sounds so cool, doesn't it?

Will Girardi : As long as it's not juvie.

Joan : No. Mock trial. Jack is going down.
Will Girardi : Tough going up against the self-defense claim. The giant was chasing Jack, right?

Joan : That's Jack's story. Everyone takes his word for it because the giant is this total mean, scary ogre, but Jack stole his golden goose.

Will Girardi : Well, the family was hungry. There are mitigating circumstances.

Joan : Jack's family is starving, so he trades their only cow in for five crummy beans? Give me a break.

Will Girardi : Stupidity is not a crime.

Joan : Maybe he's not stupid. Maybe he knows those beans will take him to the giant's castle.

Will Girardi : You're arguing it was premeditated.

Joan : If he was starving, why didn't he harvest the beans? I mean, why did he have to climb that stalk instead?

Will Girardi : Textbook breaking and entering.

Joan : Exactly. He takes what he wants, kills the giant, pleads self-defense. Sweet, young Jack is a stone-cold killer.

Will Girardi : Nice job, counselor.

Joan : Thank you. You know, you can't take anything at face value. There's always something else going on.
Will Girardi : [seeing Carlisle eating platefuls of cake] Someone rob the Good Humor man?

Det. Carlisle : Got it from my nephew's birthday. Forgot he's lactose intolerant.

Joe Mantegna: Will Girardi