Tohru: [speaking like Jade] I'll be stuck in Jade mode, forever? Eeww.
Jade: [speaking like Uncle] You would rather have Uncle's chi? I cannot stop thinking about digestion!
Uncle: Not so fast. I must first appraise the items. I do not want my store full of junk.
Jade: Then how did it get so full of junk?
Jade: This isn't a coffee table. It's a coffin table!... Cool! Why would a coffin have a lock?
Jade: You can't leave me alone! Don't you ever watch scary movies? The beautiful girl is always the first to
[They hear a loud crash]
Uncle: Jackie, guard the door! In case it returns.
Uncle: Hidden inside of an antique Mr. Lam tried to trick us in to taking it.
Jackie: What is "it?"
Uncle: A Kiang Chi. A vampire.
Jade: Told you.
Uncle: Do not breathe. The Kiang Chi is blind. It can only find you if it smells your breath.
[Tohru and Jade hold their breaths]
Jackie: You are making this
[the Kiang Chi approaches Jackie. Jackie holds his breath]
Tohru: [Speaking like Jade] How we gonna save Uncle without Uncle?
Jade: [Speaking like Uncle] We must do research.
Jackie: You gotta be kidding me.
Jackie: Uncle is turning into the vampire's minion. Use my chi for the transfusion.
[Jade slaps Jackie]
Jade: I do not know such spells! Jade has Uncle's *chi* not his *brains*!
Jade: As long as the parchment is in place, Uncle cannot move.
[Jack cautiously checks on Uncle]
Uncle: You are doomed!
[Jackie jumps back]
Jade: One more thing, he can still talk.