Dennis Reynolds: What the hell is going on?
Charlie Kelly: That's Tammy, Trey's ex-girlfriend. This is classic Tammy. Trey broke up with Tammy because Maureen Kanallen said that she saw Tammy flirting with Walt Timny at a party, but she was only doing it to make Trey jealous because you know, she thought that Trey secretly liked Erin Henebry, but he doesn't like Erin Henebry, it was all a bunch of bull.
Sweet Dee: [wanders over] What is happening?
Charlie Kelly: That's Tammy, Trey's ex-girlfriend. This is classic Tammy. Trey broke up with Tammy because -
Mac: Okay, you know what, Charlie? You gotta stop, honestly.
Charlie Kelly: Look how much fun they're having, man.
Mac: Of course they are, they haven't realized how much life sucks yet.
Charlie Kelly: Remember how great high school was? All those parties, no responsibilities...
Mac: High school was the best.
Dennis Reynolds: Do you guys even remember high school? I don't think it happened the way you think.
Mac: What do you mean?
Dennis Reynolds: What I mean Mac, is that the only reason you got to hang out with me and the other cool kids is because you sold us all weed. Everybody thought that you were an asshole.
Mac: I was popular!
Charlie Kelly: What are you talking about? Mac was very popular. And I like to think that I was pretty popular myself.
Mac: You were!
Dennis Reynolds: No, he was. You were popular like a... like a clown is popular.
Charlie Kelly: What?
Dennis Reynolds: Yeah, you made us all laugh, and all the guys knew that you couldn't sleep with their girlfriends.
Mac: Whatever dude. The only reason you got laid is because you dated freshmen.
Charlie Kelly: Yeah, yeah, yeah. You've always had that creepy thing with younger girls.
Dennis Reynolds: I do not.
Charlie Kelly: You're not in high school anymore, pal. So you better keep it in your pants, because it's kind of creepy.
Dennis Reynolds: You want to know what's creepy? You guys sniffing glue in your mom's basement, Charlie. That's creepy.
[Mac and Charlie become quiet]
Charlie Kelly: [after a long pause] Tim Murphy slept with your prom date.
Charlie Kelly: [interrupting Billy arguing with Sara] Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Give me some eyes! Look at me! Cool your jets!
Billy: I'm sorry.
Charlie Kelly: All right, beat it!
[Charlie pushes Billy away]
Charlie Kelly: [talking to Sara] Are you okay?
Sara: He's such a player.
Charlie Kelly: Is he a player?
Sara: Big time.
Charlie Kelly: I hate players. All right, I'm sorry. I'm getting fired up here.
[Charlie walks away with Mac]
Mac: Charlie, that was the coolest thing you've ever done!
Charlie Kelly: I know. I'm gonna be sick.
Mac: These kids are wasted, bro. I thought we were cutting them off?
Dennis Reynolds: I am cutting them off, these kids havent had more than three drinks each. Plus, theres so much water in them, they're probably more hydrated than they ever have been in there entire lives.
Mac: I'm telling you, this is the wrong kind of glue Charlie. This is made for, like, Kindergarteners. Look; "Non-toxic and safe," we don't want safe, we want toxic.