Earl: [on the phone] Oh, a fever huh? Well, That ain't no excuse. You're coming in, or I get somebody new. Ah Jeez. Ah... your fired! Gesundheit.
Jasper the Great: In vaudeville, you learn to always bungle the first attempt at a trick.
Earl: And that was your last attempt. Now get out of here. And you too, dum-dum. You go out too, with him.
Jasper the Great: David, in you I see the mysteries of the universe. You have powers you're not even aware of. Okay, so you're no Harry Houdini, but... If I can pull a rabbit out of a hat, I can pull the sorcerer out of you.
Jasper the Great: Oh look, look Neptune's Torture chamber. It's the illusion I'm best known for. It brings the house down every time!
Dr. David Bruce Banner: Looks lethal enough, all right.
Edgar McGee: Eh, fellow, be careful with that chair now, 'cause that's an antique. Napoleon once sat in that chair, right here in this theater! Napoleon the juggler. You remember 'im don't ya?
Dr. David Bruce Banner: [voice over] My hopes that the serum would stop the metamorphosis are gone. Even after the last 20 injections, the condition persists. With this latest dissapointment I must reexamine the entire concept of a cure.
Jasper the Great: A lesson the Great Houdini taught me: Just when your ready to give up, the magic finally works.
Rose Brown: [to the Hulk] Uh, may I have your autograph, please?
Earl: [to David] What are you doing, resting your dishpan hands? I should have asked for references.
Rose Brown: [to the Hulk] You are a big one. Believe it or not, I like big men, like you.
Kimberly Dowd: You were never Jasper the Great, you were Jasper the Mediocre.
[Ben sees Jasper]
Ben: Is that him? The uh, fly in the ointment?
Giancarlo Corleone: Si si, that is him.
Ben: You want to cut the accent?
Giancarlo Corleone: If he interferes with the wedding, man, you don't get your money.
Ben: Then I'll see to it he doesn't interfere.