I'm Alan Partridge (TV Series)

Towering Alan (1997)

Constantine Gregory: Chris Feathers

Quotes 

• Chris Feathers : [at Tony Hayers' funeral]  Brilliant man.

  Alan Partridge : Oh, yes. He had a second class honours degree in media studies from Loughborough University. What a waste.

• Alan Partridge : Bottom line, Chris, I want a 6 month contract at the BBC to make television programs.

  Chris Feathers : No, Alan. I'm not going to give you a 6 month contract.

  Alan Partridge : Yeah, you're just like all the rest, aren't you? You sit there on your fat, spotty behind, in a dead man's chair,

  [indicates Lynn] 

  Alan Partridge : leching at her like a piece of meat.

  Chris Feathers : [takes out a letter]  Alan, Alan, Alan... I'm not going to give you a 6 month contract because I have prepared... a 5 year one.

  Alan Partridge : [overwhelmed and very embarrassed at the same time]  Huh? That's brilliant.

  Chris Feathers : 200,000 pounds a year.

  Alan Partridge : That's a million pounds. Jurassic Park. I'm sorry for saying you're fat before, I just mean you're big-boned.

• [at Tony Hayers' funeral, Alan really wants to talk to Chris Feathers but keeps being introduced to other people] 

  Chris Feathers : Oh, Alan, have you met Jane?

  Alan Partridge : Yeah, I've done her. Erm, Chris can I...

  Chris Feathers : Er, just two minutes.

  [he goes to talk to someone else] 

  Alan Partridge : [to Jane, Tony Hayers' widow]  He keeps saying that!

• Chris Feathers : How about celebrating? Let's get a bottle of Bolly!

  Alan Partridge : Sod that! Let's have some champagne!