With the Linton Travel Lodge closed for redecoration there is only one weekend guest - Alan, who has nowhere else to go. Bored out of his brain he buys tungsten-headed screws he has no intention of using, walks along the dual carriageway to buy windscreen wiper fluid and drives round the ring road three times. After an unsuccessful practical joke which involves him pretending to be a zombie, he gets caught stealing a traffic cone. Written by
don @ minifie-1
Did You Know?
who plays Michael, also supplies the voice of the (non-Geordie) petrol station attendant whom Alan invites for a drink. Michael works in a petrol station in the second series. See more
Performed by Soft Cell See more