Alan has failed to secure a second series but, too cowardly to tell the station staff, finds reasons to sack them instead. He does, however, keep on Jill, the flirtatious receptionist and, for a Valentine 's Day date, takes her to an owl sanctuary and then on to dinner at the hotel where he serenades her embarrassingly. They embark upon a night of passion but it does not go as planned, giving Alan an excuse to sack Jill as well. Written by
don @ minifie-1
Did You Know?
Longstanton Spice Museum does not actually exist and was made up purely for the purposes of this programme. There is however a "Long Stanton" in Cambridgeshire, which is maybe the location Alan refers to. See more
[Alan is having his disturbing recurring daydream of himself as a male stripper
I like your thong.
Yeah, it's vulcanised rubber, which means it won't perish.
[the distracted Alan returns to reality
[putting a party hat on Alan's head
[startled, throwing the hat off
Bash your arse!
(They Long to Be) Close to You
Written by Burt Bacharach
and Hal David
Performed by Steve Coogan See more