With his chat show and his marriage both over Alan is now living at the Linton Travel Lodge and DJing on the early show for Radio Norwich. He is desperate for a second series - so desperate he sees himself as lap-dancing for BBC controller Tony Hayers - but when he is told that no series will be forth-coming he attacks Hayers with a lump of cheese. He returns to his hotel room and, after a heart-to-heart with his devoted assistant Lynn, injures himself going for the mini-bar. Written by
don @ minifie-1
Did You Know?
The waiter who grabs Alan after he attacks Tony Hayers with the cheese, moves several feet away when the camera angle changes. See more
There is to be no second series. And I've listened to your ideas, I've listened to them all, and I haven't liked a single one.
Tony... I've, I've just bought a house. It's like, it's got a Buck Rogers toilet. One yank, all gone.
We don't owe you a living. You are someone who has a proven track record for making mostly bad television programs.
That's bollocks, but carry on.
It's not bollocks. Your programmes were appalling. The ratings were a ninth of what we could have expected, they started ...
Performed by Yazoo See more