- Dr. Gregory House: My car's been stolen.
- Dr. James Wilson: [sees expensive car in House's spot] Or rein*car*nated.
- Dr. Allison Cameron: I don't have the right to show interest in someone?
- Dr. Eric Foreman: You absolutely do. And I absolutely have the right to humiliate you for it.
- Dr. Gregory House: There is one chemical that, if ingested, can cause a person's estrogen level to increase dramatically.
- Bill Arnello: What is it?
- Dr. Gregory House: It's called estrogen.
- Dr. Gregory House: [a toddler keeps sticking small toys up his nose; House pulls out a cat] Nice grasp of concepts, relationships. Very smart. Very cool. First the policeman, the fireman, then the firetruck. Your brother was sending in teams to save the cat.
- Dr. Gregory House: Need the lawyer.
- Edward Vogler: Who'd you kill?
- Dr. Gregory House: Nobody. But it's not even lunch. Got served with a federal court order. Some witness went into a coma and they want me to take a look at him.
- Edward Vogler: What? They want you to examine a sick person? This is a public relations nightmare. Folk think our staff do that kind of thing around here, this place'll be crawling with sick people.
- Dr. Robert Chase: The hematoma caused the coma.
- Dr. Gregory House: That's a catchy diagnosis. You could dance to that.
- [talking about the hospital]
- Edward Vogler: Well, this is not a team. It's not a boat. It's not a machine that has a lot of parts that have to work together. The metaphors are all crap. This is a business - that's all it is.