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"The Honeymooners" Alice and the Blonde (TV Episode 1956) Poster

Quotes

Rita Wedemeyer: We have pet names for eath other.

Ralph: Pet names for each other? Now, isn't that cute. I betcha that was your idea.

Rita Wedemeyer: Yes, it was. Don't you have certain names you like to call your husband?

Alice: Oh, I have several I'd love to call him.

Rita Wedemeyer: All you have to do is pick out your husband's outstanding feature, and find a name that fits.

Alice: Oh, I see.

[to Ralph]

Alice: Isn't that a good idea, Tubby?

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Alice: I'll go fix my lipstick. I won't be gone long, Killer. I call you "Killer" 'cause you slay me.

Ralph: And I'm calling Bellevue 'cause you're nuts!

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Bert Wedemeyer: Well, I'm pretty lucky, too. I have a wife, who every time she gets something for herself, she gives something to me.

Ralph: Well, I wanna say, Mrs. Weidermeyer, that that's very thoughtful. It's not many wives who want to give their husbands somethin'.

Alice: Oh, I don't know, Ralph. I've been thinking of giving *you* something. And you may get it real soon!

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Rita Wedemeyer: What a husband you have. He certainly is a treasure.

[Mrs. Weidermeyer leaves the room]

Alice: A treasure? He keeps this up much longer he's going to be a BURIED treasure.

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Trixie: Whoever said the Age of Chivalry is dead was right. I know the two guys that killed it. Oh, Alice, our campaign has been a complete flop. On the way to the bus they walked twenty feet ahead of us. And they only talked to each other. And if that isn't bad enough, on the bus there are just two empty seats. And who sits in those two empty seats?

Alice: Ralph.

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Ralph: It just so happens that the Raccoon Lodge is going through a financial crisis. And I'm the treasurer, Alice, I'm responsible. If I don't get some money into that treasury, you know what might happen? The Bensonhurst chapter of the Raccoon Lodge may no longer be. Do you know what that means?

Alice: Yeah. Real estate values in Bensonhurst will go up a hundred percent.

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Ed Norton: [to Alice, as the Nortons return home via the Kramdens' fire escape] Going home like this reminds me of that old poem I used to love from my childhood: "When he crept out into the stealthy night air, / Little did he realize the fire escape was not there."

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Ed Norton: [seeing a vase full of flowers] Look at these here, Ralph! Boy, they had me fooled. They're real! I mean it. They're almost as good as the artificial ones.

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