Home Movies (TV Series)

Coffins and Cradles (2003)

Melissa Bardin Galsky: Melissa Robbins

Quotes 

• Ronald Lynch : Well, good morning!

  Brendon , Jason Penopolis , Melissa Robbins : [together, sing-songy]  Good morning, Mr. Lynch.

  Ronald Lynch : You kids excited about the Halloween Party on Saturday?

  Brendon , Jason Penopolis , Melissa Robbins : Yes, Mr. Lynch.

  Ronald Lynch : Stop doing that.

  Brendon , Jason Penopolis , Melissa Robbins : Yes, Mr. Ly...

  Ronald Lynch : Stop!

• Brendon : Jason, I heard. You gonna be OK?

  Melissa Robbins : I had to smack him a few times.

  Jason Penopolis : Yeah, she did.

  Brendon : She did, really? How was it?

  Jason Penopolis : I loved it.

  Melissa Robbins : Me too!

• Coach McGuirk : [Melissa enters Coach McGuirk's hospital room in her Halloween costume]  Oh my god it's death!

  Melissa Robbins : Coach, it's me, Melissa.

  Coach McGuirk : [sarcastically]  Oh my god it's Melissa.

  Melissa Robbins : This is my costume.

  Coach McGuirk : Hey, you know Melissa, you probably shouldn't be walking around the hospital dressed as death.

• Melissa Robbins : [Melissa finds Jason in a closet on a sugar binge]  Jason? Oh my gosh, what are you drinking?

  Jason Penopolis : Glucose. Go away.

  Melissa Robbins : I will not go away!

  Jason Penopolis : You... . You made me this way!

  Melissa Robbins : [hugs Jason]  It's gonna be OK.

  Jason Penopolis : Candy...

  Melissa Robbins : No more candy...

  Jason Penopolis : ...candy... I need more! Let go of me Melissa! Let go!

  Melissa Robbins : I'll never let go!

  Jason Penopolis : Let go you crappy bitch!

  Melissa Robbins : [Melissa slaps Jason]  Snap out of it!

  [She slaps him again] 

  Jason Penopolis : Oww!

  Melissa Robbins : Now listen to me!

  Jason Penopolis : No!

  [She slaps him again] 

  Jason Penopolis : Ow!

  Melissa Robbins : You want another one?

  Jason Penopolis : [quieter]  No, please.

  Melissa Robbins : I'm sorry I had to do that again.

  [She slaps him] 

  Jason Penopolis : Alright, alright. I'm calm. I'm calm.

  [She slaps him again] 

  Jason Penopolis : Ow! Melissa, I said I was calm.

  Melissa Robbins : Sorry, it looked like you were going to act up again.

  Jason Penopolis : No, I said I was calm. That's why I said it.

  Melissa Robbins : Jason!

  [She backhands him] 

  Jason Penopolis : Ah! Melissa, I...

  Melissa Robbins : No talking back!

  Jason Penopolis : I'm not ta...

  Melissa Robbins : No, you listen to me!

  Jason Penopolis : I am.

  Melissa Robbins : I need you to *calm* *down*!

  Jason Penopolis : I told you, Melissa, I...

  Melissa Robbins : I don't wanna have to.

  [She slaps him twice] 

  Jason Penopolis : [still calm]  Melissa, please, stop slapping me.

  Melissa Robbins : Calm... down... Jason. Jason!

  [She slaps him] 

  Jason Penopolis : [getting agitated again]  Ow! I'm not...!

  Melissa Robbins : What has gotten into you?

  Jason Penopolis : I am calm! I'm... .

  [she starts slapping him repeatedly] 

  Jason Penopolis : Ow! I'm calm! Melissa, stop slapping, I'm calm!

  Melissa Robbins : It's gonna be OK!

  [She slaps him again] 

  Jason Penopolis : Oww!

• Melissa Robbins : [Lynch is bruised and bandaged in a wheel chair, still in his cat costume]  Mr. Lynch, what happened?

  Ronald Lynch : What happened? I fell down a fucking flight of fucking stairs because I was looking for your ass, meow.

  Doctor : That's just the drugs talking.

  Coach McGuirk : Wow, I... I like those. Can I have those? The ones that make you go 'meow'?

  Ronald Lynch : Meow.

  Coach McGuirk : Doctor?

  Doctor : I'll call the pharmacy. Who wants drugs?