Home Improvement (TV Series)

You're Driving Me Crazy, You're Driving Me Nuts (1993)

Kevin Scannell: Officer Lambert

Quotes 

• Tim : [Tim stops at a gas station to ask for directions]  Officer?

  Officer Lambert : Hi there, what can I do for you?

  Tim : I'm on my way to a wedding and I gotta find 127.

  Officer Lambert : 127? That's pretty far! You're REALLY lost!

  Marty : WAY lost!

  Tim : Well, I let my wife do the navigating. You know how that is!

• Officer Lambert : You're on County Road 6. You wanna follow it north, two-tenths of a mile of 20.

  Tim : Is north right or left?

  Officer Lambert : It's left.

  Tim : Thanks alot, you guys.

  [Goes to leave] 

  Marty : No, he can't go that way!

  Officer Lambert : Sure he can, Marty.

  Marty : Radio says County Road 6 closed near 20 John. Fallen tree.

  Officer Lambert : Ah, yeah!

  Marty : You can take County Road 6, turn west on Elmwood.

  Officer Lambert : Which is right before Oakwood! So you hit Oakwood, you've gone too far!

  Tim : What's before Elmwood?

  Officer Lambert : Etchwood! But what do you care? You're going to Elmwood!

  Tim : [Smiles - even more confused. Goes to leave]  Thanks, guys.

  Officer Lambert : Whoa whoa whoa whoa... what am I talking about? Elmwood's closed!

  Tim : Fallen tree?

  Officer Lambert : No, dead cow! Frozen to the highway!

  Tim : What?

  Marty : Happens alot!