When Jill's father comes to visit, their relationship is strained by their longtime inability to have an honest talk, but this causes problems when he asks her opinion on the book he's written about his military career.



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When Jill's father comes to visit, their relationship is strained by their longtime inability to have an honest talk, but this causes problems when he asks her opinion on the book he's written about his military career.

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Comedy | Family





Release Date:

9 February 1994 (USA)  »

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Aspect Ratio:

1.33 : 1
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The Colonel: [aggravated] All right, you didn't like the book. I'm gonna get the boys. We'll be back at 1300 hours.
Tim: What time is that?
The Colonel: It's 1:00. Why is that so difficult for you to understand? Every private in the army gets it by the end of the first day.
Jill: Daddy, I'm sorry I upset you, but...
The Colonel: I'm not upset. IF I WERE UPSET, I'D BE YELLING.
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References Old Yeller (1957) See more »

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User Reviews

Daddy Dearest
23 January 2013 | by (United States) – See all my reviews

On today's Tool Time, Tim and Al have got a 'really big shoe.' Several, actually. They're showing how to properly maintain your footwear. Using a little oil on some hard leather will give you the old soft shoe, which Tim demonstrates with two very large shoes on his hands, complete with cartoon sound effects. Al balks at Tim's attempts at doing a soft-shoe, and so he steps out on stage to show him just how it's done. At home, Tim tries to perfect his latest invention: The Puck-Chucker to help the boys with their hockey practice, when the Taylors receive a visit from Jill's father, Colonel Fred Patterson. He is the textbook definition of regular army, also he has no sense of humor whatsoever. He brings the boys a souvenir: shrapnel, removed from his own body. The gift that keeps on giving. And for Tim and Jill, manuscripts of his book. Yes, the Colonel is writing a book, a 500 page document about military protocol. He was beaming about it, so it must be good, right? Well after a few pages, Tim and Jill realize it is boring as all hell. So what now? Tell the truth, right? No, Jill has reservations about being honest with her parents and so she wants to lie and say it was good. That's an example of great parenting if I ever saw one. So when the Colonel finally wakes up, Tim lets his feelings about the book be known, but since his opinion obviously means nothing to the Colonel, he turns to Jill, who chickens out and praises the book. Way to stand by your man, Jill.

Later at the table, Tim and Jill get into it. She calls her husband selfish, even though she's the selfish one here. Just like a woman, blame the man. The Colonel hears them bickering and tries to break it up, while further bashing Tim and his taste, or lack thereof. So after Jill and her dad get into yet another round of B.S., the daddy's girl finally fesses up her true feelings. Naturally, the Colonel is furious about being lied to and he storms out of the house. Later, Jill goes out to talk to Wilson, who had also read the Colonel's book, and subsequently fell asleep. He hears of Jill's incredibly strict home life and basically says old habits die hard, and not to feel too down when something that worked in the past can't be done in the future. So, as the Colonel regales Mark about the time he met General MacArthur, who the boy never even heard of, Jill manages to confront her father and the truth gets out. The Colonel realizes what a stubborn old war horse he'd been and apologizes for how he acted, as does Jill, and to top it all off, Tim comes in wearing a tacky, puke-green suit they'd been arguing about this whole time. Finally, the Puck-Chucker is in perfect working order...until it launches a puck right at the Colonel's car.

Another well done episode, and another story that most of us can relate to, where honesty isn't always the best policy. M. Emmet Walsh portrays the Colonel to perfection, as the stereotypical military father who ran a tight household, which I'm sure was hectic with five freakin' girls and a wife, during the '60s and '70s, and as we learn, Jill was a flower child. That must have been hell for him. The Colonel will return in Season 4, and at least they made him an established character before... "Taps" in Season 6. So, I definitely recommend "The Colonel", it's funny, it's heartfelt, another of Home Improvement's finest episodes.

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