Tim: Jill got mad at me because I didn't listen to her.
Wilson: No, I think she got mad at you because you blew up the damn dishwasher.
Jill Taylor: [discussing Jill's upcoming job interview] Tim, do you ever listen to me? It was the last thing that I said in bed to you last night.
Tim Taylor: No; I believe, if you recall, the last thing you said to me in bed last night was "NO!"
Jill Taylor: [smirking] You're thinking of tonight.
Tim Taylor: [wanting to go to a tool sale at Sears] I'll be back in twenty minutes.
Jill Taylor: Twenty minutes! Who are you kidding? You'll be down there drooling, fondling all the tools, your eyes bugging out. You don't even look at me like that.
Tim Taylor: I would if you were two speeds and reversible.
Tim Taylor: This is *my* house, that is *my* dishwasher, and I will rewire it if I want to.
Jill Taylor: No! You will not rewire it and screw it up like you did the blender. End of discussion.
[Jill walks out]
Tim Taylor: What is your problem with the blender? It's the only blender on the block that can puree a brick!
Jill Taylor: This is great! Now I've gotta take advice from a guy who prances around a TV studio, grunting like a baboon...
Tim Taylor: What does that have to do with it?
Jill Taylor: ...while Miss Binford Tool Girl flashes her big headlights.
Tim Taylor: Lisa?
Jill Taylor: [sarcastic] No - Al!