- Tim Taylor: [Brad is holding a hose] What did I tell you about water balloons?
- Brad Taylor: Fill 'em up real full so they bust on contact?
- Tim Taylor: [Smiling sneekily] That's right!
- Jill: How's it going in there?
- Al Borland: Well, right now Tim and Hank are explaining to Bob just what it feels like to be pregnant.
- Wanda: Oh yeah, right! The day one of those HeMen goes to the John and shoots a 9 pound ham out of his butt, then he can talk!
- Tim Taylor: [Jill is trying to force attraction between Dave and Karen - Tim laughs sarcastically] Karen, do you know how to drive a car?
- Karen Kelly: Yes, Tim.
- Tim Taylor: [Exasperated] I can't believe it, so does Dave, it's kismet!
- Tim Taylor: Why do you always have to fix people up?
- Jill: Everybody does that.
- Tim Taylor: Everybody *doesn't* do that. Women do that. Guys don't sit around and go "Boy Frank, we gotta find somebody for him. All he does is go to that great job, watch football, drink beer and race his car on the weekends. His life is just so empty!"
- Al Borland: [Referring to Karen] Do you think it would be alright if I asked her out for coffee?
- Tim Taylor: Y'know, Karen's quite a handful.
- Al Borland: My mother is a handful. I like that in a woman!
- Al Borland: [Referring to Tim's party] I could bring jerky.
- Tim Taylor: They say you are what you eat, Al!
- Karen Kelly: I'm fed up and I'm through with men.
- Tim Taylor: On behalf of all men, I'd like to say "thank you"!
- Tim Taylor: I thought we weren't bringing the wives.
- Bob: I know, but Leslie keeps thinking she's going into labor. What was I supposed to do?
- Tim Taylor: Let her start. It takes hours.
- Tim Taylor: [Dave has just arrived to help Tim install the engine in his hot rod] Hey Dave, you big dipstick, about time buddy!
- Dave: Well, somebody showed up at the shop who's actually paying me to work, Tim.
- Tim Taylor: [Dryly] That hurt me deeply, Dave.
- Jill: [Looking at Tim's hot rod] So... this is the front?
- Tim Taylor: Yes Jill... and look over here.
- [Takes her hand and walks her to the rear of the car]
- Tim Taylor: The back!
- Jill: [Tim and Jill are underneath the hot rod, on crawlers, looking at the engine. Tim starts snuggling up to Jill] Tim?
- Tim Taylor: Hm?
- Jill: I thought you were going to show me the engine.
- Tim Taylor: I call this my engine!