- Cpl. Peter Newkirk: [looking at the burnt money in his hand] It's the story of my life. I never could hang on to money.
- Col. Hogan: [Strasser opens the door to his apartment] You sent for a plumber?
- Ludwig Strasser: No, you made a mistake.
- [attempts to close the door on Colonel Hogan, but he bursts in]
- Col. Hogan: No, Herr Strasser. No mistake.
- Ludwig Strasser: Who are you?
- Col. Hogan: There are no penguins in Gibraltar.
- Ludwig Strasser: There are no Canaries in the Canary Islands.
- Col. Hogan: Blue is the most attractive color.
- Ludwig Strasser: White is more suitable for brides.
- Col. Hogan: That's why there are so many June weddings.
- Ludwig Strasser: Good. Give me the money.
- Col. Hogan: Not so fast. What about the map?
- Ludwig Strasser: Oh, I've got it. You'll get it when you give me the money.
- Col. Hogan: There's a little problem.
- Ludwig Strasser: Problem? You don't have 100 thousand marks?
- Col. Hogan: Not exactly.
- Ludwig Strasser: Exactly how much do you have?
- Col. Hogan: Nothing. But we'll get you the money in a few days. If you give me the map now.
- Ludwig Strasser: In the spy business, there are no credit accounts.
- Col. Hogan: Doesn't it mean anything to you that you may be saving a lot of lives?
- Ludwig Strasser: Oh, that's another thing about the spy business. The only thing we're interested in saving is money.
- Col. Hogan: You know, that big heart of yours is gonna swell right up and choke you to death.
- Ludwig Strasser: In case you have any foolish ideas, the map isn't here. But I can lay my hands on it in five minutes. When I need it.
- Col. Hogan: Thanks. You saved both of us a little trouble. I'll see what I can do about getting the money.
- Ludwig Strasser: Oh, and, um, while you're here...
- Col. Hogan: Yes?
- Ludwig Strasser: Could you do something about a dripping faucet?
- Col. Hogan: That's another thing about the spy business. We don't do anything that drips.
- [walks out the door and closes it behind him]