Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter: Now, Klink, I'm going to try and be calm about this. I want you to tell me in your own words exactly how did the radio detector truck get put out of action?

Col. Wilhelm Klink: Major Hochstetter, you won't believe this.

Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter: TRY ME!

Col. Wilhelm Klink: It was a million-to-one shot that the candles would have hit the truck.

Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter: What candles?

Col. Wilhelm Klink: The candles from the birthday cake.

Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter: Birthday cake? In the middle of World War II you give yourself a birthday party?

Col. Wilhelm Klink: Oh, no. It wasn't for me.

Col. Robert E. Hogan: The party was for me, sir.

Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter: You give a birthday party for a prisoner?

Col. Robert E. Hogan: Oh, no, no. My men gave it to me. I'm sorry you missed it, major, it was a great party. I saved you some cake.

Col. Wilhelm Klink: Oh, thank you, Hogan. Thank you.

Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter: Klink. You are succeeding in doing, by yourself, what millions of enemy soldiers are unable to do: Bring the Third Reich to its knees.

[walks towards door, gives his classical]

Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter: BAH!

[slams door shut]

Col. Robert E. Hogan: Party pooper.

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