Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter: Now, Klink, I'm going to try and be calm about this. I want you to tell me in your own words exactly how did the radio detector truck get put out of action?
Col. Wilhelm Klink: Major Hochstetter, you won't believe this.
Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter: TRY ME!
Col. Wilhelm Klink: It was a million-to-one shot that the candles would have hit the truck.
Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter: What candles?
Col. Wilhelm Klink: The candles from the birthday cake.
Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter: Birthday cake? In the middle of World War II you give yourself a birthday party?
Col. Wilhelm Klink: Oh, no. It wasn't for me.
Col. Robert E. Hogan: The party was for me, sir.
Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter: You give a birthday party for a prisoner?
Col. Robert E. Hogan: Oh, no, no. My men gave it to me. I'm sorry you missed it, major, it was a great party. I saved you some cake.
Col. Wilhelm Klink: Oh, thank you, Hogan. Thank you.
Maj. Wolfgang Hochstetter: Klink. You are succeeding in doing, by yourself, what millions of enemy soldiers are unable to do: Bring the Third Reich to its knees.
[walks towards door, gives his classical]
[slams door shut]
Col. Robert E. Hogan: Party pooper.