Verlaine: They stole it from the museum?
Cpl. Louis LeBeau: Filthy assassins.
Verlaine: Ah, animals.
Sgt. Hans Georg Schultz: You forgot pigs... By the way who are we talking about?
Cpl. Louis LeBeau: Germans!
Sgt. Hans Georg Schultz: I got into the wrong conversation.
Sgt. Hans Georg Schultz: That's right, get the p- Wait a minute. This is the picture that was burned up.
Cpl. Karl Langenscheidt: Ja, there is something wrong here.
Sgt. Hans Georg Schultz: You're part of it, shut up.
Col. Robert E. Hogan: [Shultz, impersonating a Wermacht General, has run off a pair of Gestapo men attempting to search the flat of LeBeau's artist friend who will forge the replacement of the painting. While being heartily congratulated by the painter, painter's daughter, LeBeau & Hogan Hogan asks] How'd you do that?
Sgt. Hans Georg Schultz: Easy. Lucky for you, I was *loaded*.
[Schultz had been drinking wine all afternoon]