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"Harry O" Gertrude (TV Episode 1974) Poster

(TV Series)

(1974)

Quotes

[first lines]

Harry Orwell: Where I wanted to be was in Idaho Falls, Idaho. Because that's where the circus was playing that day. I would have gotten in my car and gone there. It was only 970 miles, but the car was in Roy Bardello's garage for a new muffler and a starter motor rebuild. So I thought about that.

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Harry Orwell: A clue is anything that doesn't happen the way it oughtta happen.

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Gertrude Blainey: I don't think you're the right detective for me.

Harry Orwell: Gertrude, all detectives are immoral. And we all drink alcoholic beverages.

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Gertrude Blainey: [Gertrude hands Harry a beverage in a glass. He starts to drink it and puckers his lips] Oh, did I put too much sugar in there?

Harry Orwell: No, it's very good for what it is.

Gertrude Blainey: Oh, dear, I hope you weren't expecting liquor of some kind.

Harry Orwell: Well, occasionally that's what people mean when they say refreshment.

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Harry Orwell: There are a lot of cases I won't take. I don't have to. I have a bullet in my back that gives me a police disability pension. But how often does a private detective get a case where the clue is one shoe, left, civilian, but it belongs to a sailor? Besides which, you don't meet a lot of women who had voices like Gertrude's. If she looked like what she sounded like she looked like, I certainly didn't want anything bad to happen to her brother.

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Harry Orwell: Get yourself something to sleep in and bring the sugar canister.

Gertrude Blainey: You mean a night gown?

Harry Orwell: You sleep in a night gown?

Gertrude Blainey: That isn't any of your business.

Harry Orwell: Whatever you wear when you don't sleep at home.

Gertrude Blainey: Sir!

Harry Orwell: You're going to sleep at my house tonight.

Gertrude Blainey: Why can't I sleep here?

Harry Orwell: Mattress is lumpy.

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Gertrude Blainey: You're very skeptical.

Harry Orwell: I am. You like the ocean?

Gertrude Blainey: Sometimes I can't follow your sequiturs.

Harry Orwell: Likewise.

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Harry Orwell: One of the collateral advantages of riding buses is that it's hard for anyone to tail a bus without giving himself away. A bus moves with a different rhythm than somebody's car. When I was on the force, I had to tail a guy in a bus once. It was the worst 45 minutes I ever spent.

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Harry Orwell: He thinks you're on that plane to Brazil.

Gertrude Blainey: Were you so absolutely sure I wouldn't be?

Harry Orwell: Well I thought the very best kind of young woman would not be on it, so I assumed you would not be on it.

[Gertrude smiles]

Harry Orwell: An act of faith.

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Harry Orwell: You see baseball teams win more games in their own ball parks. San Diego is my ball park and when you name a street, I can close my eyes and tell you where the traffic lights are. That also applies to bus stops.

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See also

Trivia | Goofs | Crazy Credits | Alternate Versions | Connections | Soundtracks

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