Eustace Charleton Haney: [pitching ideal gifts for Arnold] How about this mink-lined electric snout warmer, for the pig that has everything. Now, this can be plugged into a set of batteries that Arnold can wear strapped to underside of his stomach. If you're worried about it showing...
Oliver Wendell Douglas: I'm not!
Eustace Charleton Haney: It can be covered with this matching mink car coat.
Eustace Charleton Haney: [reading card he's selling for Arnold's birthday] "Happy birthday 'o pig oh mine - "
Oliver Wendell Douglas: Oh pig 'o mine?
Eustace Charleton Haney: "Hope this finds you well and fine. The joys you brought me all through life...
Oliver Wendell Douglas: Yeah, yeah, I'm familiar with the poem!
Eustace Charleton Haney: Oh. That Henry Wadsworth Longfellow wrote some great stuff.
Oliver Wendell Douglas: I don't wanna do anything on my birthday. No parties. Nothing. Just let the day pass quietly without any fuss. Well, maybe after dinner we can pop open a bottle of champagne.
Lisa Douglas: How about a birthday cake?
Oliver Wendell Douglas: Hmmm. A birthday cake's fine.
Lisa Douglas: How many girls do want to come out of it?