- Sir Geoffrey: [Conducting the Hooterville Symphony Orchestra] Now please, let's try it: Brahm's Lullaby.
- [the band plays a crawling version of "There's a Hot Time in the Old Town Tonight"]
- Sir Geoffrey: Stop, stop! Hold it, hold it! May I ask what you were playing?
- Eustace Charleton Haney: Well, what was you conductin'?
- Sir Geoffrey: Brahm's Lullaby.
- Eustace Charleton Haney: Then that's what we was playin.'
- Sir Geoffrey: That was not Brahm's Lullaby.
- Oliver Douglas: [to Sir Geoffrey] Well it's as close as you're gonna get to it.
- Sir Geoffrey: Look is there anyone here who can read music?
- Ralph Monroe: Oh, I can.
- Sir Geoffrey: Oh, well then my dear, would you mind humming it for the others?
- Ralph Monroe: [to the tune of Brahms' Lullaby] La-da-dah, la-da-dah, la-da-dah-dah, da-da-dah, la-da-dah, dah...
- Sir Geoffrey: Fine. Now, let's all hum it together.
- Band members: [to the tune of Brahms' Lullaby] La-da-dah, la-da-dah, la-da-dah-dah, da-da-dah...
- Sir Geoffrey: Capital, capital, capital! Now, let's all play that.
- [the band plays "There's a Hot Time in the Old Town Tonight" as Sir Geoffrey breaks down and cries]
- Sir Geoffrey: [to the Hooterville Fire Department band] We're going to start with a very simple little piece, Brahms' Lullaby.
- Eustace Charleton Haney: Who wrote it?
- Sir Geoffrey: Well, ehm...
- Oliver Douglas: [to Sir Geoffrey] You should've taken the train, when I told you.
- Ralph Monroe: Would you believe I've never heard Beethoven's 5th Symphony by, eh, Tchaikovsky?
- Oliver Douglas: Well, I don't think I've heard that myself.