- Gary Sparrow: Can you please read a little more quietly - you're drowning out John Motson.
- Yvonne Sparrow: Well I'm sorry, Gary, but I think this is a little more important that the fate of Arsenal Football Club.
- Gary Sparrow: More important that the Arsenal! I didn't realize there was a meteor on collision course with the earth.
- [Gary is panicking because Yvonne has brought home a book containing a photograph of him with Noel Coward taken in 1945]
- Ron Wheatcroft: That *will* be hard to explain when Yvonne sees it.
- Gary Sparrow: Lipstick on your collar is hard to explain. Calling out another woman's name in bed is hard to explain. Appearing in a photograph taken two decades before you were born is the Twilight Zone.
- [Ron is reading a book that describes new ways of meeting and impressing women]
- Ron Wheatcroft: [reads from book] "Chapter 12 - Prowling the Urban Jungle"
- Gary Sparrow: You're going on the pull in the Bronx?
- Ron Wheatcroft: No, Safeways?
- Gary Sparrow: Safeways is the urban jungle?
- Ron Wheatcroft: According to this book, supermarkets are the number one place to meet unattached women under forty. They're better than singles bars. Plus you can pick up a loaf.
- Gary Sparrow: Sound very romantic. "Where did you meet?" "Oh, at the cheese counter. Our eyes met across an ageing Gorgonzola and within a few minutes we'd exchanged loyalty card numbers."