- Willona Woods: Oooeee. The hawk is really bitin' out there this morning. It's so cold out in that hallway I rubbed my face and cut my finger on my eyelashes.
- [after a pause and receiving cold stares from James and Florida]
- Willona Woods: I can get a warmer welcome at a Klan meeting.
- Florida Evans: James, I'm so sorry.
- James Evans, Sr.: For what, needing your appendix out?
- Florida Evans: But that operation cost all the money we had. Now you work all day and take a second job and work all night. I'm so sorry.
- James Evans, Sr.: Baby, you say you're sorry one more time and I'll give you something to be sorry about.
- Florida Evans: Who would've thought they wouldn't give us the loan because James made $100 too much last year? I didn't know $4200 was the limit for a family with three kids.
- Willona Woods: Well I've got an idea, if you had a fourth kid...
- Florida Evans: I'm willing to listen but I'd need a 9 month notice.
- Michael Evans: [to the furniture movers] You're upsetting my sister. Thelma, please don't faint!
- James 'J.J.' Evans, Jr.: Thelma's gonna faint?
- Michael Evans: Thelma, PLEASE don't faint.
- Thelma Evans: Oh my! I do feel weak! All the blood is rushing from my head!
- [falls on the floor]
- Michael Evans: Get back, give her air.
- James 'J.J.' Evans, Jr.: This poor child ain't had nothing to eat for the last two weeks, except for some rotten oatmeal.
- Thelma Evans: Where am I?
- James 'J.J.' Evans, Jr.: Marshall Fields. Oh! Did you hear that? The poor child thinks she's in Marshall Fields!
- James Evans, Sr.: Now Florida, move.
- [picks Florida up and moves her away from the door and leaves]
- Florida Evans: Damn, that man always could MOVE me.