Willona Woods: Willona Woods: Oooeee. The hawk is really bitin' out there this morning. It's so cold out in that hallway I rubbed my face and cut my finger on my eyelashes.
[after a pause and receiving cold stares from James and Florida]
Willona Woods: I can get a warmer welcome at a Klan meeting.
Florida Evans: James, I'm so sorry.
James Evans, Sr.: For what, needing your appendix out?
Florida Evans: But that operation cost all the money we had. Now you work all day and take a second job and work all night. I'm so sorry.
James Evans, Sr.: Baby, you say you're sorry one more time and I'll give you something to be sorry about.
Willona Woods: It's so cold out in the hall, I rubbed my face and my finger froze to my eyelash.
Florida Evans: Who would've thought they wouldn't give us the loan because James made $100 too much last year? I didn't know $4200 was the limit for a family with three kids.
Willona Woods: Well I've got an idea, if you had a fourth kid...
Florida Evans: I'm willing to listen but I'd need a 9 month notice.
Michael Evans: [to the furniture movers] You're upsetting my sister. Thelma, please don't faint!
James 'J.J.' Evans, Jr.: Thelma's gonna faint?
Michael Evans: Thelma, PLEASE don't faint.
Thelma Evans: Oh my! I do feel weak! All the blood is rushing from my head!
[falls on the floor]
Michael Evans: Get back, give her air.
James 'J.J.' Evans, Jr.: This poor child ain't had nothing to eat for the last two weeks, except for some rotten oatmeal.
Thelma Evans: Where am I?
James 'J.J.' Evans, Jr.: Marshall Fields. Oh! Did you hear that? The poor child thinks she's in Marshall Fields!