- Blanche Devereaux: [about Rose's birthday gift] I can't take it back. I paid in advance.
- Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak: Can't you get a refund?
- Blanche Devereaux: Well, no. I paid with nature's credit card.
- Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak: You never leave home without it
- Blanche Devereaux: You hate me, 'cause I'm beautiful, don't you?
- Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak: There's a man leaving in 10 minutes. Be under him.
- Sophia Petrillo: [Miles is storming out and Rose is behind him] Miles... Rose!
- Rose Nylund: Not now, Sophia.
- Sophia Petrillo: [Dorothy comes out of the kitchen] Dorothy, I can't breathe!
- Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak: Not now, Ma.
- [looks at her]
- Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak: Alright, but this better be good.
- Sophia Petrillo: That depends, how good would you consider, the Pope's ring?
- Sophia Petrillo: [waves the Pope's ring over a glass of water] Wine!
- [to Dorothy]
- Sophia Petrillo: It was worth a shot.
- Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak: Ma, you STOLE the Pope's ring?
- Sophia Petrillo: It slipped off his finger, for God's representative on Earth, he sure has sweaty palms.
- Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak: [feels the Pope's ring] Hey, this is real!
- Sophia Petrillo: Of course it's real, you think he wears his fakes out in public like Zsa Zsa does?
- Sophia Petrillo: Dorothy, I'm going to the hospital now, if I'm not back soon, then that'll mean Agnes is dead, and if she is, that'll make you a murderer, have a nice time, pussycat.
- Blanche Devereaux: Excuse me, Rose, you're about to make a grave mistake. You come to *me* if you want advice on men. You go to Dorothy if there's grammar you want help with.
- Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak: You ended that sentence with a preposition just to bait me.
- Blanche Devereaux: What would I do that for?