- Gloria: Dorothy, why don't you ever come to California to visit me?
- Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak: It's not easy, you know... I have my job, I have responsibilities, I've never been invited...
- Gloria: Well, I'm inviting you now. I have a huge house with servants and an ocean view. And Bert Convy shops in my grocery store.
- Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak: Bert Convy? Let's leave now!
- Gloria: Remember when we were little girls and you used to tell me bedtime stories?
- Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak: Oh yeah, the vampire in the closet, the boogey man and the little girl, cannibal parents, I think between the ages of 5 and 7 you got about what, two hours of sleep?
- Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak: [Gloria tells about how Sophia praised her all her life] How come Ma never told me about any of this?
- Gloria: She did. Remember when Mom and Pop had to go out, who did they always leave in charge?
- Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak: Me.
- Gloria: And you know why?
- Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak: Yeah, because Phil played with matches.
- Gloria: No, Dorothy, because she trusted you.
- Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak: Blanche, aren't you forgetting something?
- Blanche Devereaux: Oh no, I never wear underwear.
- Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak: [enters Sophia's bedroom] Ma, what're you doing?
- Sophia Petrillo: Having a toga party, what's it look like?
- Blanche Devereaux: [about her audition for MacBeth] I've got this part in the sack.
- Rose Nylund: She means in the bag.
- Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak: No Rose, I don't think so.