- Stan Zbornak: [to the doctor] Now Sophia Petrillo may just be another patient to you, but we happen to love her and we care very much about her. I demand we be updated of her condition every hour *on the hour*!
- Dorothy Zbornak: I can never make my lasagna as good as Ma's. She says that's because I don't sing to it. She sings opera to her lasagna, except during the holidays when she does Nat King Cole.
- Rose Nylund: [everyone is relieved as Sophia improves after a rough night in the hospital] What about you, Dorothy? You must be exhausted being here by yourself all night.
- Dorothy Zbornak: No, I wasn't alone. Stan came by and stayed with me. Brought me food, held me, showed me that special part of himself.
- Rose Nylund: Right there in the waiting room?
- Dorothy Zbornak: Not that part, Rose.
- Rose Nylund: [Sophia can't stop coughing] Dorothy, should I get Sophia some water?
- Dorothy Zbornak: No, Rose, you should stand there and watch her hack herself to death.
- Rose Nylund: ...really?
- Dorothy Zbornak: GET THE WATER!
- Blanche Devereaux: *I* am calling the doctor.
- Sophia Petrillo: I can't breathe!
- Dorothy Zbornak: Blanche, forget the doctor, call the paramedics!
- Rose Nylund: Would it be too much to ask for a group hug before we go?
- Dorothy Zbornak: Oh honey, no.
- [the girls and Stan hug]
- Dorothy Zbornak: Hands ABOVE the waist, Stanley!
- Dorothy Zbornak: You should've seen the way Stan took control, this is not the same man who screamed 'paint my toenails! We've just invaded Korea!'