Plumber: You really need an expert. I can take a toliet apart blindfolded!
Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak: Now there's a dying art!
[Talking about Richard]
Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak: You mean you would feel the same way if he didn't have a dime to his name?
Blanche Devereaux: Of course... I would just have to other men behind his back.
Richard: Did that champagne kick in, yet?
Blanche Devereaux: No... but if you're ready to make your move... I can pretend it did.
Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak: Honey, do you know what's behind that, uh, wall that you're banging on?
Rose Nylund: A lateral fusion pipe!
Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak: And do you know what's on the other side of that lateral fusion pipe?
Rose Nylund: No.
Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak: My head!
Sophia Petrillo: Dorothy, you're a genius!
Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak: Ma, wait a min- now, what are you talking about?
Sophia Petrillo: I walk into the living room, and there's a toilet in front of the television set. It's an old lady's dream come true!
Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak: [trying to lift the toilet up with Rose's help] Oh! Ooh! Wait, wait! No. Honey, she won't budge. Oh, Rose, I don't think we're going to be able to move it.
Rose Nylund: Dorothy, if the Egyptians built the pyramids, now, we can move this toilet.
Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak: Fine. Get me twenty-thousand Hebrews, and I'll have it out of here in no time.