The Golden Girls (TV Series)

Scared Straight (1988)

Bea Arthur: Dorothy Zbornak

Quotes 

• Sophia Petrillo : I don't get to know?

  Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak : No, Ma.

  Sophia Petrillo : Okay. Have it your way. But nobody can keep a secret from Sophia Petrillo. Whatever that guy is hiding I can smoke it out of him in three or four quick questions.

  Clayton Hollingsworth : [entering the kitchen]  Hello, ladies.

  Sophia Petrillo : Perfect timing!

  Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak : Ma!

  Sophia Petrillo : So, Clayton, what do you think of this Miami weather were having?

  Clayton Hollingsworth : Oh, it's lovely.

  Sophia Petrillo : I see. Have you ever been to Europe?

  Clayton Hollingsworth : No. But it's always been a dream of mine.

  Sophia Petrillo : Interesting

  [holds up 2 fingers] 

  Sophia Petrillo : How many fingers am I holding up?

  Clayton Hollingsworth : Two.

  Sophia Petrillo : Fine. You can go back in the living room now.

  [Clayton exits] 

  Sophia Petrillo : The man's as gay as a picnic basket!

  Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak : Ma, that... that is incredible! How did you know?

  Sophia Petrillo : I heard him singing in the shower. He's the only man I ever knew who knows all the words to "Send In the Clowns".

• Rose : I don't feel right even talking about it, maybe if I whisper.

  [whispers into Dorothy's ear] 

  Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak : [confused]  Clayton is a hobo?

  Rose : No, Dorothy!

  [whispers again] 

  Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak : Oh... oh! Now, now I get it!

  Rose : Oh thank goodness, for a minute I thought I was going to have to draw you a picture, and I'm not even sure I'd know how!

• Sophia Petrillo : I'm dying, Dorothy, Saturday night at 9, don't make any plans.

  Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak : Ma, you're being ridiculous!

  Sophia Petrillo : I know! When was the last Saturday night you had plans?

• Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak : Ma, what're you doing sitting in the dark?

  Sophia Petrillo : Conserving energy for those who'll be alive after Saturday.

• Sophia Petrillo : [Sophia sighs deeply and Dorothy ignores her]  Hey! You're not going to ask me what's wrong?

  Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak : What's wrong, Ma?

  Sophia Petrillo : I got three days to live.

  Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak : Fine, Ma, I'll scratch the Bengay off the grocery list.

• Sophia Petrillo : Hold your hands out.

  Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak : What for?

  Sophia Petrillo : So I can say 'hi' like Magic Johnson.

  [slaps her ten] 

• Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak : Ma, what're you doing up?

  Sophia Petrillo : [sarcastically]  Somebody left the lock off my cage.

  [seriously] 

  Sophia Petrillo : I didn't want to sleep, I was afraid I'd have that dream again.