Kevin Kelly: Oh, no. You're not a substitute nurse too, are you?
Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak: I'm sorry about your knee. You know, you wouldn't have been blindsided if you'd stayed in the pocket.
Kevin Kelly: You know football?
Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak: I know everything. Ah, I see some people have already signed your cast.
Kevin Kelly: Uh, yeah, some of the guys from the team. Are you signing it?
Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak: Correcting it. There is no K in victory. Oh yeah, and we'll just change this to 'Ms. Zbornak eats shiitake mushrooms.'
Kevin Kelly: Listen, if you're feeling guilty about not influencing my life, don't. People have been trying to get me to be serious for years.
Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak: We made a deal. You promised me that I could tutor you once football season was over, and it looks like it is.
Kevin Kelly: Yeah, but this isn't exactly fair; I can't move.
Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak: Yeah, I know, I know. It'll be like teaching fish in a barrel.
Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak: I do not enjoy failing anybody, not even this kid, but he's just lazy. In his book report on A Tale of Two Cities he said he liked them both, but he prefers Minneapolis because that is where Prince is from!
Rose Nylund: When the nitrous oxide wore off, Lou, that's my dentist, said he was checking my heartbeat but I think he was checking out more than that if you get my drift.
Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak: Why do you say that, Rose?
Rose Nylund: I don't think wowie-wow-wow-wow is a medical term.
Blanche Devereaux: No! How could he do a thing like that?
Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak: Believe me, just because doctors wear white does not mean that they're angels.
Sophia Petrillo: Dorothy, you threw a priest out of the house, you disgust me.
Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak: Ma, you have relatives who've thrown priests out of windows.
Sophia Petrillo: That was business!
Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak: Blanche is telling us about Freud.
Sophia Petrillo: What're you asking her for? I'm the one who slept with him.
Blanche Devereaux: Sophia this is serious, according to this book, if Rose doesn't confront Dr. Norgin, she could take her hostility out on us.
Sophia Petrillo: Tunnels, he loved to drive through tunnels!
Sophia Petrillo: Dorothy, you're home from school already!
Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak: Ma, do you realize you've said those exact words to me ever since I was in the 3rd grade? That's sweet.
Sophia Petrillo: It's not sweet, 50 years you never stopped off any place? Get a life, Dorothy!
Rose Nylund: You wouldn't believe how many people think I'm dumb just because I look like this!
Sophia Petrillo: Rose, you underestimate yourself- I know people who think you sound dumb over the phone!