Cowboy #2: Howdy, ladies. My name's Rusty. I don't recollect seeing you two fillies 'round these parts. Mind if a lonesome cowboy puts his saddlebags 'round your campf...
Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak: Give us a break, would you mac!
Rose Nylund: Oh, Sophia. I want to explain about last night. When I was a little girl, one summer we had a terrible thunderstorm...
Sophia Petrillo: [cuts off Rose] Excuse me, Rose. Have I given you any indication at all that I care?
Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak: Didn't you sleep well?
Sophia Petrillo: No, Rose kept me up, the storm scared her, she comes into my room at 2 in the morning begging, crying, just like your father before we got married.
Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak: What did you do?
Sophia Petrillo: I told him 'you're not getting anything till I see a ring on this finger, and a donkey in my father's barn'.
Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak: Not Pop, Rose.
Sophia Petrillo: I told her to get the hell out, she was annoying me.
Sophia Petrillo: [Rose is leaving for work] While you're out there, Rose, why don't you pull a few weeds out of the sidewalk?
Rose Nylund: Okey dokey.
Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak: Ma, you said you'd weed the sidewalk.
Sophia Petrillo: I said I'd get it done, it's getting done!
Leonard Barton: [Sophia put a curse on him with the evil eye] I went out to my garage this morning and found the air had been let out of my tires, I know she's responsible.
Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak: Oh come on, Mr. Barton, it was just a coincidence.
Sophia Petrillo: Coincidence my *eye*.
Leonard Barton: Where's the old witch?
Gladys Barton: Leonard, don't call her a witch, you'll get another boil on your butt.
Leonard Barton: Tell the world, Gladys!
Leonard Barton: I'm begging you, my clocks are all wrong, I can't find my golf clubs, I can't sleep, I can't eat!
Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak: Can't sit.
Gladys Barton: That too... please, take the curse off.
Sophia Petrillo: You'll move the tree?
Leonard Barton: It'll be out of here first thing in the morning.
Sophia Petrillo: Fine.
[feels her teeth]
Leonard Barton: Does that mean the curse is over?
Sophia Petrillo: That means I shouldn't eat asparagus at dinner.
[snaps her fingers]
Sophia Petrillo: That means the curse is over!